Suggestions - Not Truths

- - Rejoice- -

There are many things planned for the Year of Proliferation. While it is normally my job/pleasure to be a correspondent for our Giant Crab, Giant Crab has purposely kept most of his plans for 2008 reticent. However, besides what he has spoken outward about, there are things even a novice can conclude. I'm firstly speaking of course about Giant Crab's giant plan for us. While some speculate that death from Giant Crab will result in access to a sort of paradise in another realm, I remind those that any who follow Giant Crab will be spared. Furthermore, any who step in Giant Crab's wake will think they are in heaven already. This is why I believe that Giant Crab's ultimate coming will start a shockwave of others into following him. It is a great shame that many will be given the gift of forced attrition once Giant Crab has come in his larger form. It is with gritted teeth these new followers will be welcomed. If you ask me, only those who are true believers in Giant Crab should be spared. I do not question Giant Crab's methods. If they are accepted by Giant Crab, then they are my brothers. I should learn to be more understanding, like Giant Crab. After the Year of Proliferation, I will hopefully look back at these articles and laugh. But I will never forget the message at its heart...

A VOTE FOR GIANT CRAB IS A VOTE FOR A BIGGER CRAB

Year of Proliferation - Things To Come

- -Ready- -

In 2008 several things will come to pass. A short list of examples is presently unnecessary, for there should only be one thing on everyones mind: Giant Crab. I've repeatedly discussed obedience, and explained the need for cooperation, but no more. I should not need to waste precious words on the reasons all people world round should do everything in their power to help Giant Crab in his ultimate goal. I have been patient thus far, but that time is over. For those foolish enough to question Giant Crab, or his varied principles, I have no room in my heart for you. It has been occupied by Giant Crab. Giant Crab has taught us to try recruit others, but for some this task is to great for any human to accomplish. For the ignorant minority Giant Crab will most assuredly convince every last one of you of his vigor. I hope for your sake he does not make an example of you. The Year of Proliferation rapidly approaches, make the right decision. We need you, and your votes. Because as we all know...
A VOTE FOR GIANT CRAB IS A VOTE FOR A BIGGER CRAB

In Terms Of Service - Never Vicious Enough

- -Mediocrity- -
There are no two ways about servitude towards the almighty Giant Crab. This is not a weekend hobby. We do not lose ground the whole work week just to pick up the scraps on Saturday. Those of us who long for the Year of Proliferation do not appreciate this lack of involvement. I do not uphold this blog for my health. This constructive guide I create here has actually helped in the deteriation of my health. A small price to pay to Giant Crab. I do not claim to be a martyr, nor do I expect or acknowledge pity. I only wish you to understand what commitment to Giant Crab means. You need not ignore family and friends, we as a whole would like you to get them involved. Children must be reached at a young age. For those parents who believe it is too late for their child or teenager to begin understanding and helping Giant Crab, we ask you to show the tenacity of our magnificent crab. Be like him and help them understand, if you are not with Giant Crab, you are against him. While it hurts to lose the ones we love, when the Year of Proliferation comes, any who are non-adjusted will be left behind. Giant Crab will aide in the abandonment of your children as they are destroyed like the rest. Speaking from first hand experience, witnessing Giant Crab slaughter your own flesh and blood is far better than seeing them stand defiantely in protest of the eternal Giant Crab. All wounds heal with time, and while some wretched muckrakers might say this is 'barbaric' and 'insane', those who have stood in Giant Crab's presence and have done his bidding can tell you the true meaning of tutelage. Tonight at the dinner table, talk to your family and please, remind them...
A VOTE FOR GIANT CRAB IS A VOTE FOR A BIGGER CRAB

Determination - Knowledge Is Power

- - Learn - -
There are some elections that determine what any 'normal' human would call an important outcome. Whatever the election may be, it is all the same to Giant Crab. Each vote we cast for him increases his size and as a result increases our chances for Giant Crab to lead us to a new world order. I could never stress the importance of voting enough. Apathy is not acceptable in the eyes of Giant Crab. Those who have lost their way on election day will not be spared. I urge my many readers to do more than their part to increase the mass of Giant Crab. You can help his campaign the same way you would any common politician, educate the people. The key word here is educate. So I will do my part now. For those who have been under a rock for the past 12 decades, Giant Crab is the world's first crustacean politician. Endowed with magic powers, whenever running in a ballot Giant Crab increases in size with each vote received. As decreed in his masterful slogan, "A VOTE FOR GIANT CRAB IS A VOTE FOR A BIGGER CRAB". Once Giant Crab has grown large enough to win, he will promptly destroy whichever city he is in. There is no need to fear Giant Crab, if you are on his side. For those few ignorant that actually oppose Giant Crab, there is nowhere to hide, and nothing you can do to stop Giant Crab. For those recently educated, please now do your part. When The Year of Proliferation comes, be on the right side. Tell your friends, and remember...
A VOTE FOR GIANT CRAB IS A VOTE FOR A BIGGER CRAB

The Beginning - The Message Is Clear

- - Outcry - -
Although there have been certain people who have laughed at the very notion of Giant Crab, they will all understand soon enough. When their children are fleeing the homes they have worked so hard to create and protect, they will know the full power of Giant Crab. Not one of you have stood in his presence. Not one of you have held him in your arms after a defeat. He did not seek shelter in my backyard because he is homeless, he did it so he would not have to succumb to society and their rules. Come 2008 (Year of Proliferation) society will have a new understanding. Not just of how to live, but how to live with each other. I for one await with open arms the impending chaos and anarchy that will follow in his mighty steps. Although feeling desolate as I write this I know I am never alone with Giant Crab. He is a teacher, a leader, and a brother. I ask for those in the dark to seek the impenetrable radiance of Giant Crab. The shadow filled world we dwell unto now will be all but a distant memory. Giant Crab is not a omnipotent being, nor is he a prophet. We then are atheists by default because there is nothing but Giant Crab. Unto him I pledge my relentless acquiescence, Giant Crab only asks the same of you, my faithful readers. We are united as one under the penumbra of the almighty Giant Crab. Comrades, fall in and shout from the hills of our past nation's capitol....
A VOTE FOR GIANT CRAB IS A VOTE FOR A BIGGER CRAB